“I Doubted My Intelligence, Upbringing, and Academic Preparation.” 

Cinnamongirl CEO Renée Richard’s Story

I was in my junior year of high school, eagerly anticipating my first visit with the school's college counselor–a man so busy he only met with juniors, and only scheduled return visits with those he deemed “college ready.”  All of my friends were college-bound, and all that I'd ever wanted–all I ever talked about—was to attend a great college after my high school graduation. But not quite fifteen minutes into the visit, he told me firmly that he did not believe that I was ready for a four-year institution. My spirit was crushed. Internalizing his attitude and his words, I began to think of all the ways that I was not good enough. It must have been obvious, I thought, since it had only taken him a few minutes to come to this conclusion. 

From that day, I doubted my intelligence, upbringing, and academic preparation. In my immature thinking, all of me was less-than. I couldn’t see my connection to the greatness of those who had come before me, like my mom and dad who worked tirelessly to give me and my sister an amazing home and polished upbringing; I couldn't see the intelligence and ambition of my grandparents, who'd owned their own businesses and even acquired investment property on a modest income. All I could see was their lack of college education, and that this lack made me unworthy.

This feeling of unworthiness drove me to work even harder and to apply to college despite what I’d been told. A year later, I was accepted to UC Santa Barbara. Oh my goodness! I was over-the-moon excited. But my enthusiasm eventually spiraled into social isolation and self-doubt as I put all my time and energy into my schoolwork. I didn't believe in myself, and I suffered from bulimia. Every weekend, I left the campus to escape the school’s extreme lack of diversity. 

I still have nightmares of failing out of college, but instead of dwelling on this fear, I’ve transformed it and channeled it into helping young girls and women know their power–into giving them what I wish I’d had. Kids of color today may not be discouraged quite as bluntly as in my youth, but they continue to be dissuaded in other ways, such as teacher neglect, peer pressure, lack of good information and guidance, and other messages from society that they are unworthy.

Cinnamongirl offers girls transformative experiences that build courage, confidence, and character. We envision a world where girls of color feel welcome and represented at any school, in any field, with role models, access, and a network. We are working to create a pipeline of remarkable female leaders, innovators, and thinkers who can live out their greatest dreams—without relying on validation from anyone other than themselves.